Unfortunately, for all of my fans out there... I figured you should hear it straight from me: I am not the recipient of the 2009 Nobel Prize for Literature. It is, in fact, Herta Müller - a Romanian author who was selected because of her "concentration of poetry and the frankness of prose, depicts the landscape of the dispossessed."
Now comes the all-to-common outcry of college-age beatniks who will immediately start shouting "OH, I totally went through a Müller phase in high school, good for her, winning that prize. It's about time she was recognized." Meanwhile, I'll sit here, where I always sit, and wonder who the fuck is Herta Müller? I don't think anyone really knows. She's scary as shit, though. She probably glared at the Swedes and they paid her with a medal and 1.4 USD's just to back down her hateful leer.
Really though, good for her. She should smile more though. I don't mean that in a chauvinistic "women should always be ____" sort of way... I just mean she just seems like a very pissed off person. Hopefully this award will bring some joy to her life and turn that frown upside down.
Now, back to being a F-List Writer!