Sleep = Necessary Evil

Over the weekend, I was struck with a rather potent disease that has no name, and only one cure....

The disease is known as "Writer's Block." The cure is to run, not walk, away from your writing for a period of about a day and a half and play video games, read a book, and sleep. Emphasis is important here; please notice the word sleep is italicized. You will understand better in the next paragraph. Promise.

I like to see myself as a dedicated person. You may not always see me on the honor roll (hell, I never was) but I was always dedicated to something. I throw my whole being into something and do it as hard as I can. In my early days and into high school, it was baseball. In some weird interim between high school and some college existence, it was video games and its industry. Since then, it's been concerned primarily with telling stories through any medium, be it novels (my first and foremost love), short stories, screenplays, or even video games; I just love telling a good story. Sounds great, eh? Well, it is... until I get caught up and realize the sun is coming out because I have forgotten to sleep. (See?) I tend to neglect important things like food or sleep when I get going on something I'm passionate about, and that led to some problems over the past couple months, and honestly, led to a little bit of a burn-out for me. But do not fear! For it -- like a particularly awful kidney stone -- has passed... although not in the same manner.

It isn't a problem that I think is very common -- I think most people are not going to forego sleep to find out what is happening in their story, particularly because it is theirs, so how could they not, am I right? Well, I realized that my lack of sleep led to some truly spectacular output (end of the first draft is just over the horizon, people! get champaigne and streamers ready!) but it also wore on me. I learned that the simple things -- keeping your workspace clean, eating healthy, and sleeping are all terrific ways to keep yourself from burning out, and if you have already burned out, or just suffering from writer's block, it is a great way to resituate yourself in your environment, and get back to your story.

I think that was one of my friendliest blog-posts in a while...

-Ken

Some things that piss me off...

I was reading some stories on blogs today... stuff that read "First Two Chapters! Enjoy!" and it kind of made me realize where the bridge between good and bad writing is. I think I made a breakthrough in dregging through the literary offal found on the internets.

1. People who write stories about someone writing a story. It's dumb and convoluded. The best story like this was The Secret Window and that was written by Stephen King... the guy can pull off any over-used, horribly cliche plot he wants. The majority of us, however, cannot. So, if you ever feel like your character has to write... think about it again. Is there any other way you can give your character some ambiance of creativity? Think about it. Stay the fuck away from cliches - especially this one.

2. Dumbass page-long narratives of two people staring at eachother in silence. This seems pretty self-explanatory. If your male protagonist looks out into the park and sees a beautiful girl, don't give me a page about her fucking hair. It's dumb and boring and not realistic. As a guy, I can say, without equivocation, that when I see a woman I don't break out into sonnet. Neither should your dude. If your just trying to boost your word count, then you're a poser... if you're trying to show off flowery language, you're a loser... if you're trying to show how emotionally touched your guy is, you're lying.

3. Having one long paragraph that should be broken up into two. Reading devolves into scanning when confronted with a wall of text. When you have a paragraph that doesn't seem to end, find a good place to break it up. There's always a spot out there. Find it. Rule of thumb: if you have more than one central subject going on in a paragraph, you're doing it wrong.

4. Don't be a cocky prick. People notice your douchebaggery. A simple rule of thumb exists here. If you think very highly of yourself, it will come through in your writing and it will no longer be sincere. Self-flaggelation and a good sense of humor are paramount in writing, and without the ability to laugh at yourself, your writing looks contrived and brings up images of Patrick Bateman flexing in the mirror while banging a chick in American Psycho. If you want to write, get over yourself. Write for the love of the story, not for the love of yourself. Prick.

5. Don't make wild claims about how other people write when you're not even published yet. Yeah, and hypocrites. I hate hypocrites.

That's it. Enjoy your crushed egos.

-Ken